Tony’s big Euro-adventure


A Contribution from Atticus Finch

Once upon a time, there was a cheeky boy known as Tony Blair. Tony had many friends in that frontier town known as Westminster Village who helped him to make the world a better place.  His very best friend went by the name of Gordie Brown.  Gordie helped Tony with his pocket money and made sure he didn’t spend it all on sweets.

Sure, those nasty bully boys from Notting Hill often poked fun at his wide, beaming grin and sought to undo the good work he had done, but Tony didn’t let this grind him down. Instead he doubled up his efforts to make Westminster Village a happy and fair place for all boys and girls. 

Years went by and Tony did very well indeed. He and his friends had become the most popular gang in the village, as well as making friends in Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland. Thanks to Tony, all the boys and girls could recite their ABCs and were given the same amount of spends by their mums and dads.

One day, Tony decided that he had been top boy of Westminster Village for long enough.  Gordie very kindly agreed to take his place so that the boys and girls wouldn’t miss him too much and off Tony went, skipping merrily into the sun.

News of Tony had travelled far and wide.  Lots of people wanted Tony to be their friend and it wasn’t long before the cool Eurokids came a-knocking. They were looking for a new leader and they led Tony to believe he could be just the ticket.

Tony was thrilled, as was Gordie with his good friend’s success.  Gordie let it be known that Tony could count on him for his support. Tony felt a very special boy, and thanked his lucky stars that he had a friend like Gordie.

However, Gordie had since made some new friends, Nicky and Angie.  Nicky and Angie weren’t too fond of Tony and let their feelings be known amongst the Eurokids.  They thought Tony was showy and always wanted to be centre of attention.  A little known boy called Rompuy would be a much better leader, they told Gordie.

Gordie, afraid that he wouldn’t be allowed to play with Nicky and Angie, sheepishly agreed and promised that he wouldn’t be Tony’s friend anymore. The Eurokids all hailed their new leader, Rompuy, and celebrated with bratwurst and Belgium beer milkshakes.

Tony, humiliated and badly let down by his friend Gordie, pledged not to play with the Eurokids for the next four years and returned home.

And thus ended the story of the cheeky boy known as Tony Blair.



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